Where are Black Women in Our Love Stories?

A lot of Black girls and women are taught to be strong in ways that leave no room for softness. Strength often means not crying, not falling apart, not needing too much, and not relying on anyone else. While that kind of mindset is usually passed down as protection, it can also erase tenderness and vulnerability, things that are very human and very feminine. Over time, it affects how Black women see their own desires, especially when it comes to love.

Romance is one of the most popular genres in literature, making up around 25–30% of all fiction sales in the U.S. And it’s not just physical books. Romance dominates e-books, audiobooks, and self-published spaces online, think Wattpad or fanfiction.net. Clearly, people are craving stories about love.

And there’s a reason for that. Romance tells people it’s okay to love deeply. It especially speaks to those who were taught to shrink their needs or toughen themselves emotionally. In a world that feels unstable and overwhelming, romance reassures us that love is still possible, and that being open, emotional, and vulnerable can actually lead to something good.

Wattpad and Early Ideas of Romance

Wattpad plays a huge role in how people, especially younger readers and writers, understand romance. It’s often where people first experiment with writing love stories or imagining themselves in one. Because of that, it really matters what kinds of stories are being centered.

Most of the popular stories on Wattpad focus on white characters. It's not shocking, it’s usually what writers and readers are most familiar with. But that pattern has an effect.

Even Black writers are influenced. A lot of Black girls grew up writing white protagonists. Not because they didn’t like Black characters, but because the stories they read framed whiteness as the default for romance. When the main perspective is implicitly white and you’re reading as a Black person, you often end up editing yourself out of the story, or reshaping your body to fit into it.

That subtle habit can change the way you imagine love and whether you see yourself as someone who gets to be chosen.

Whiteness as the Default

Is this necessarily racist? Not really. Writers usually write what they know. If a white woman is writing a romance, it makes sense for her protagonist to be white. Writing is personal, and it’s easier to write what feels familiar, such as, how you do your hair, the way your family works or even your culture, into a character.

That part isn’t the problem.

The problem is how Black women are usually written when they do appear: as the sassy best friend, the strong woman who doesn’t need a man, or a weirdly fetishized character. Those portrayals rely on tired stereotypes and rarely allow Black women to be soft, sweet or vulnerable.

It sends the message, even if unintentionally, that Black women’s stories aren’t as important.

Why This Actually Matters

Black girls are often expected to grow up faster. It's called the adultification bias, where Black girls are seen as older, tougher, and less in need of protection, sometimes as early as ages five to nine. It reinforces the idea that Black skin automatically comes with strength and resilience.

Romance directly challenges that expectation.

Romance is about softness. It’s about wanting to be loved, being vulnerable, and letting yourself be cherished. When Black women are excluded from romance stories, they’re also excluded from a genre that celebrates exactly what they’re often told to suppress.

Black women showing up in romance is about being recognized as fully human. It’s about being allowed to be strong and soft, independent and deeply loved. It’s about seeing Black women not just survive, but be desired, chosen, and held.

And that matters more than people like to admit.