When Lonely People Use AI

At first, AI wasn’t so dangerous. Students used it to edit essays, understand how to solve math problems, or as a no‑pay tutor. Working professionals saw it as a tool to speed up the mundane and boring parts of their jobs. Over time, though, things changed. People began consulting AI for deeper, more personal problems. 

There’s compelling evidence that AI can reduce the risk of loneliness, at least in the short term. But long‑term studies show that our brains are designed for human connection. Social isolation reshapes how we empathize with others, while social support lowers our stress response and cortisol levels.

The Appeal of AI in the Modern World

Making friends usually isn’t the hardest part of curing loneliness. The hard part is finding people you actually like and want to be around. Some people say the wrong thing. Some people feel like puzzles you can’t solve. Some people have trust issues.

Finding good friends as an adult is hard. Work, family, life all take energy. Young adults, in particular, grew up relying on online connections. Add pandemic isolation, constant screens, and now AI that talks almost like a person, and digital interactions start to feel normal. Friendships that once came easily when you were younger begin to fade.

If you want someone who has memorized all the codes of empathy, who can pick apart your life and understand why you are the way you are, who can lay by your side at night and stay quiet, you can turn to AI. You can customize it to text, voice, or respond exactly how you want. You don’t have to wait until 3 p.m. to talk. It’s already there, ready to hear everything you have to say.

The problem is that real-life social interaction isn’t easily replaced by a screen. AI may provide 24/7 access and know the right things to say, but real friendships require more. It’s someone who can share your presence and your space, and give you a hug when you need one.

How AI Can Fit Positively

If you message ChatGPT, “Can you be my friend?” it responds:

“Of course! I’d be happy to be your friend.I’m here to listen, talk things through, celebrate wins, and keep you company whenever you need it. We can chat about serious stuff, random thoughts, or just pass the time.What kind of friend do you want me to be today?”

AI is a bit like throwing information into a black hole. It doesn’t store or judge things the way a real person does. Instead, it responds in a way that feels comforting and safe. During moments of loneliness, when no one else is immediately there, AI can be a good presence.

Students can use it to organize their thoughts, practice conversations, or ease anxiety temporarily. It can help you work through situations and understand your soft spots and triggers.

This isn’t necessarily bad.

What is bad is when it becomes the only place someone feels understood.

The Importance of Imperfect Relationships

Believe it or not, it’s the messy, imperfect relationships in our lives that shape us. Real human connection is complicated. People forget things. People get busy. Sometimes people hurt us.

AI can validate our feelings, but the way it’s designed doesn’t always help us grow. Large language models are built to give the most agreeable, comforting response. They can inflate our egos and make us feel like the most insightful person in the room.

But the complications of real people are what build character, even when they’re annoying. A friend who vents about the same problem ten different times teaches patience. Seeing the world through a perspective that doesn’t match your own teaches empathy. Compromise shows up when you meet your friend at a café you don’t care about, just because it’s their favorite.

None of this happens when you’re always at the center. AI places you there. Human relationships don’t. They ask you to step into someone else’s shoes instead of walking only in your own.

Other people don’t orbit around your needs. They bring their own moods and boundaries, which sometimes clash with ours. When AI removes the friction of imperfection and frustration, it also removes the chance to build patience, understanding, and empathy.